


Those years alone in the desert sands of Jakku

by alexi_of_carthanas



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ace Leia Organa, Aro/Ace Rey, Aromantic Rey, Asexual Leia Organa, Asexual Rey, Coming Out, F/M, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, aroace rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 18:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17007177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexi_of_carthanas/pseuds/alexi_of_carthanas
Summary: (And surely that's all it is?)***On the Resistance Base after the the destruction of Starkiller Base, Rey decides that the reason she doesn't understand romantic or sexual attraction is just because of her isolation for years on Jakku. It takes a few fiascos and lunch with General Leia Organa for her to recognize and come to terms with her aro/ace identity.***





	Those years alone in the desert sands of Jakku

Rey assumed, at first, that her relative lack of interest to partner with people romantically or sexually was because she didn’t know how. Surely being alone in the desert sands of Jakku all those years in relative isolation had simply deprived her of prior experiences.

So when people on the Resistance base began placing bets on how the love triangle between her, Finn, and Poe would play out, she didn’t attempt to contradict the rumors. She tried to live up to them. But Rey had no idea how actual romance worked. 

 

It started out innocuously enough: Rey focused on Poe, because it felt awful to say but she’d feel worse about hurting Finn if this didn’t work... And Poe, sure enough, focused on her. They were sitting by the lake, and Poe said, “How about a swim?”

“Sure,” said Rey. “You’ll have to make sure I don’t drown, I’m from a desert.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Poe with a small chuckle. “I’ll make sure you don’t drown. Can’t believe you even thought you had to specify that.” He took off his jacket, stripping until he was in underclothing. 

Rey followed suit, down to her underclothing. Only... was that too much? How much was normal to wear when going swimming?

Poe was staring slightly, though he tried to avoid looking like it. “Rey, uh, you don’t need to take off that many clothes for swimming.” 

“Oh,” mumbled Rey, realizing he was now trying hard to not admire her body. It felt strange, but that’s what butterflies felt like, right? But... should maybe, er, definitely put more clothes back on to get rid of the feeling because it wasn’t super nice...

Also because Poe had said she didn’t need this few clothes to swim. And she needed to do it quickly before other people on the base came by... Had just managed to get some more garments on when a few pilot trainees crested the hill. Rey breathed in relief.

“Sorry,” she said, blushing profusely. 

“Shall we?” was all Poe said, and reached for her hand. She let him take it and then jumped into the water with him. 

 

After the third incident of similar confusion, Rey was surprised to get an invitation to lunch with General Leia Organa, delivered in a hologram message directly to Rey. 

All the invitation said was “Greetings, Rey. You’re invited to have lunch with me in my quarters tomorrow. Let me know if you have other pressing engagements to attend to during that time so I can reschedule if need be. Looking forward to seeing you soon.”

There was nothing about why the General would want to meet with her. Surely she hadn’t done something particularly wrong? Maybe, at worst, she and Poe had distracted some of the base from their work? Rey hoped not... fiddled with her arm wraps.

 

“Rey,” said the General once they were about 10 minutes into eating, Rey too nervous to ask why she was at lunch with the General. “Everyone is getting a kick out of seeing you and Poe try to court each other, but you sure aren’t.”

“What do you mean, General Organa?”

The General flipped a hand in the air. “None of that ‘General’ nonsense with me, you can call me Leia.” Then answered with a question: “Why do you think you need to date him?”

Rey sputtered. “Um, well, I like him, right?”

“Well, sure, but do you actually love him romantically? Sexually?”

The statement gave her pause. “I don’t know, Gener-- Leia.” Thought of how weird she’d felt all the times Poe looked at her body. About how he’d seemed surprised when she didn’t want kisses on the lips. “But that’s normal, right?”

“Let me tell you a story,” said Leia, not answering the question. “So, there was once a woman who loved a man, and he loved her. Over time, they changed, and grew apart. They had had one child together, a child who grew to love the darkness. It crystallized what the woman had been exploring her feelings about.”

Rey wanted to interrupt and ask if Leia was talking about herself, but managed to hold her tongue, just barely.

“She realized that her sexual attraction to people wasn’t like a lot of people’s. It seemed... to not be present most of the time. Her husband had left to wander the galaxy by now, the pair now separated. The woman didn’t mind the lack of sexual activity, and didn’t want to be with another man anyway at this point; she loved her husband too much, despite their rift and subsequent incompatibility. So that’s where things are in that story.”

“Is it you?” said Rey quietly. “And Han?”

The General nodded. “Of course, there will never be a chance to repair that rift, now.”

Rey swallowed. She’d felt it, like Leia had, too, in the Force, that horrible moment, and then had it confirmed... “Why did you tell me all that? It sounds really personal, and...”

 

“I think you’re a little like me, Rey. I could be wrong, of course. But I think you’re trying too hard to box yourself into relationships for the sake of...” Leia seemed to grapple a bit with the words. “Not normality, but for the sake of insisting that you can do it.”

Rey blinked. “Oh. But I don’t want to hurt people now. I mean, I’ve just never... I was alone for so long, Gen- Leia. Surely it’s just that I never had the experiences to know.”

“Up to you. What you decide, that is. You’ll end up hurting yourself more later, I suspect, even more than you would hurt other people, but you do have the right to make your own choices. We all do.” 

 

“Poe? I’ve got something to tell you.” Rey braced herself for the revelation to shock Poe.

“I mean, so do I, I’ve gotta tell you something too,” the X-Wing pilot said, blushing furiously, and Rey wanted to sink into the floor. He was about to tell her that he loved her. 

“I... I don’t think I experience romantic and sexual attraction,” Rey said in a rush, at the same time as Poe blurted, “Rey, I-I think ... I like Finn. And I want to ask him out.”

They both stood in silence for several seconds before laughing and embracing. “Go for it,” said Rey. “Go for it.”

“I’m glad you figured out what you feel, too,” said Poe, grinning from ear to ear. 

Finn entered the hangar, obviously looking for Poe, and Rey shooed the pilot toward the other Resistance fighter.

 

There was laughter, and smiles, and Poe and Finn kissing and holding hands, months down the road. And Rey, happy and single and relieved that she hadn’t ended up breaking anyone’s hearts after all.

The Jedi Order of times past had forbidden romance for the Jedi, and she didn’t like playing into the stereotype, but ... that’s just who she was. Her only love affair was with the Force; the way she could feel out with it to understand situations better...

...and the shining energies when she closed her eyes.


End file.
